Doctors...

So, I went to the doctor's today, and she told me that my eyes weren't good. Tell me something I already knew, right? Lol...so, today we decided that the laser surgery was the best thing for me to do. I don't know how I feel about this. I'm nervous. I've been down this surgery road before, but until I made the final decision, I didn't know. It's a ten minute procedure...and it scares the hell out of me.

I guess it's time I explain the reasoning for my link name. Kiki is my nickname, and it was already taken, (go figure...geez how many Kiki's are out there? Really!) so I combined my name. I wish it were something cooler, but it's not...so there. KikiCheryl'shouse. LOL.

Shoutouts of the week: Ben, who I haven't seen in awhile. Just...hi. Robert Pattinson, you SERIOUSLY need to hook up with me! Just saying...The male members of Lady Antebellum, mmmm...Chuck Wicks, yes! Hi Chuck...I'm from Claymont, Delaware...call me sometime. And then there's Derek Hough.

Quote of the day: "Never let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game."-Hilary Duff, 'A Cinderella Story'

Peacin' till next time!

Today

Today, I realize that I'm the least perfect person. For, seeing this, makes me freak the hell out. I just am kind of used to projecting this air of "confidence" about me. And then I realize that I'm not as confident as I want to be.

I spend everyday of my life living in Murphy's Law. You know the one, everything that can go wrong, will. That one. If one thing is going perfect, something else goes wrong. And then I sit there wondering why I can't just have a good thing.

Of course I want to change. I know I do...but I just can't help it. The pressure just builds until I break down, and then it's like 'how do I change it?' How do I make it seem like it's not going to come crashing down on me? I can't take it anymore...

And then there are those I've "alienated"....

Two of my "best friends" have jumped ship on me, either because their childish, fat, ugly, uncaring 12 year old girlfriends have told them to, and the other one because apparently I'm not capable of having a decent conversation with him without turning it into something sexual.... I've come to realize that yeah, losing you two hurt...but I'm stronger than you think I am. I've bounced back, and I've stopped hurting myself to hurt you! I've grown up. You need to as well.

Whether it's the United States Marine Corps, or NASCAR village that's keeping us apart, you two were the best friends I've ever had, and one day....you'll look back and go, "damn, losing her was the worst thing I've ever done."

And when that happens...I'll be there screaming 'I told you so!'

Today, I realize that my perfection is.....a state of mind. I'm perfect in my own way...and that's all I really need.